Thoughts on aging and turning 30

by on January 7, 2012

THIS IS IT!  I’m turning 30 in three days…… this is the moment I have been dreading my whole life.   I somehow convinced myself that this day would never come and I would live out my years as a twenty something year old, having fun and enjoying life.  But there it is the BIG  3-0.  Life is OVER!!!   Ok, ok maybe it’s not THAT bad, but it’s bad! People have always made a point of telling me how all my pep and enthusiasm and passion for life will disappear as soon as I “hit thirty”.  Like a brick wall looming in the future and now I’m about to smack straight into it like a crash test dummy. 

 Here are the things that people have convinced me will happen when I turn thirty:

1)      Everything on my body that was up HERE…. will fall down THERE…. (WTF???!!!!!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2)       Your metabolism stops.  I don’t even know how I’m supposed to digest food any more.  From what I hear it just grinds to a halt.

3)      I won’t be able to drink anymore without wicked hangovers (just kill me already this is going to suck).

4)      I will start to say “I’m old now” as an excuse for everything.  And if I don’t say it some smart ass little 20 year old whippersnappers will say it when they ask how old I am.

5)      I’ll want kids. 

6)      I’ll want to get married to have kids.

7)      I will lose the ability to wear stiletto heels.  I think your feet grow two sizes two.

8)      Because my metabolism no longer works/ the 20 kids I have, I will gain 50 pounds, at least.

9)      My face will start to wrinkle like a prune.

10)   I’ll need to start “thinking about my retirement”  whaaa????  You mean I won’t be able to live out my days on social security and do nothing……  

11)   All my friends will get married and lose the ability to leave the house to have fun.

12)   Music will become too loud.  I think that they raise the decibel every ten years or something, I don’t know that’s what I hear.

13)   My “job” becomes my “career”.

14)   I will have to start working out 🙁

15)   No one that is young and cool will know any of the music I like. (That’s more based on observation.  People over thirty are always listening  to some old, crappy, remind them of high school music).

Thank you to all you out there who added to this list and told me these things would happen.  See what you have done?  I’m a  paranoid mess!!!!!   At least I’m not a man and I wont go bald!  I did go get the flu to slim down for my b-day and will be living on fruit and protein shakes for the next month till I adjust….. I may have to go get myself a twenty year old boyfriend to feel better 😉

I do believe that most of the stuff people have told me is wrong though.  I think people choose to slow down, and never learn to take care of themselves.   As said by George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”   Well then, let the games begin!

“Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.”
Oscar Wilde

Writing to you before my fingers are too old to type,

Foxy

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One Response to “Thoughts on aging and turning 30”

  • julia adams says:

    Yes I would say that turning 30 was hard…but I don’t believe in your list!!! This is coming from a 43 year…oh wait…got boob job…so boobs aren’t drooping….married with a kid….don’t drink much because of those wicked hang overs, don’t recover very well…..well scratch that…sorry it does come true!!! Happy Birthday Day girlie!!! have a great one… 😛

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